Cud Butter - Pasture-Grazed Tallow & Wild Forage Salve

That's right, mama. You heard me. Cud Butter. I'm sure that in the hands of any other company, a similar concoction would be called something like "Wildcrafted Tallow + Terroir Skin Tonic" (the hipsters) or "Quantum-Infused Symbiotic Range & Ruminant Bio-Resonance Compound" (the complete whackjobs), but what's to be gained from lipsticking this pig (er, cow)? I suppose I could needlessly gussy it up (and charge twice as much) but I think the world's got enough gus. If you're like me - totally gussied out - then Cud Butter is just the thing for you.

Did you know that many of the wild plants that are a part of pastured cattle's natural diet on are also incredibly beneficial for our skin? Ya gotch'er alfalfa, ya gotch'er dandelion. yer plantain, chickweed, burdock, goldenrod... all these plants that people have been using for centuries to help sooth angry skin! The more I researched, the more I thought "Why not reprise this menu so that all these great plants (technically herbs) can be of more direct benefit to us?" The result: PRE- AND POST- PASTURED TALLOW, BARBARA!!! The "pre" is taken care of by the cows; grazing in open fields to produce the incredibly nutrient-rich tallow we all know and love. The "post" is done by me, out in OUR fields, painstakingly hand-foraging many of those same wild plants (and some others, because, hey, I'm already out there pickin' stuff and throwing it in a bucket), and reintroducing them to the tallow through a gentle, LENGHTHY infusion process. Beyond that, the only other ingredient is a teensy amount of beeswax, respectfully stolen from our very own hives (What are they REALLY doing with all that wax, anyway? They don't need it all they've never seemed to care... Except for the Stevensons, but everything pisses them off).

To use: Rub a small amount into problem areas. Struggle to believe incredible results. Tell all your friends. Repeat as necessary.

Notes: The colder the climate, the firmer the salve, so depending on what it's like where you're at, it may be a finger scoop or it may be a nail scrape. In the event that you find yourself to be in a "nail scrape" locale, it'll be easier to apply if you warm it up with a little friction between your hands before application.

This contains zero fragrances, so don't be seeing flowers in the ingredients and expect it to smell like Moonbeam Meadows or some shit. What DOES it smell like? A bit herbal. A bit Vegetal. I dunno. I think that the tallow and chamomile take it to kind of a donut-y place, but I seem to be alone in that. Regardless, after five minutes, once it has soaked into your skin, it smells like absolutely nothing.

And as we aren't allowed to go into any of the actual benefits here, if you're curious, I invite you to take the ingredient list and do a bit of googlin'.